


Bucky's Regret & Steve's Content

by qjuiq



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-02 00:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5227391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qjuiq/pseuds/qjuiq
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky comes home to the Tower drunk and pulls you into his truths.</p><p>Will his drunken confession change your mind about him?</p><p>Is it good enough to make you leave Steve?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bucky's Regret & Steve's Content

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this originally to have the reader and Bucky end up together, but there I didn't want there to be any regrets with Steve.

"Stevie _fucking_ Rogers, that's all you ever talk about." Bucky slurs, his Brooklyn accent seeping in his drunkenness. His fist is wrapped in your hair, but it's not tight; more possessive if anything. The look in his eyes craves your attention. You can feel the hunger in his gaze as he looks you up and down, the hold on your waist tightening.   
  
You whimper, your body wanting this more than your mind. His breath smelt of the hard stuff like Malibu and vodka; the idea of Bucky drowning in alcohol made you sadden for a moment before remembering the current situation.   
  
You could feel Bucky's growing 'excitement' rubbing between your legs, and struggling only made it... Embarrassing for you to think, but stiffer.  
  
"Bucky, _please_ let me go. You aren't feeling well." You can only whisper, fearing that someone may walk in and rip you from the intoxicated super soldier. You didn't want anyone to misunderstand and possibly upset him. You had dealt with Bucky enough times while he was drunk to know that an OJ and donut will help his hangover.   
  
However, tonight was different; he wasn't going to let you go even if his life depended on it.   
  
"You're not thinking straight, and I'm not going to do this with you, Buck..." He tried pushing your face closer to his, but you strategically missed his face, his lips landing in your neck. He inhaled deeply, as if needing to feel and mend with every last cell that is you.   
  
Bucky was so, uncontrollably, incandescently in love with you. He always has been, ever since he first saw you. Only on that night in New York did it hit him that you were someone he could never live without. The memory was hazy in his intoxicated state, but he remembered the hazy night quite fondly.  
  
\---  
  
It was moments before the fireworks were to go off in celebration of Howard Stark's Expo, nothing around but the beautiful urban night lights and futuristic technology on display.  
  
It was that fateful night in which your usual trio of friends, plus a girl, went out and took a peek at what the future could hold.   
  
Bucky, being the ladies man he was, brought a girl along. You were paired with Steve and you were the happiest girl alive. Bucky only wore his uniform tonight because he was hoping to impress _you_ like he always did, (he could almost care less about the broad he brought along ) although your mind was the farthest thing from him.   
  
Bucky and his date were way behind you and Steve, the sergeant barely listening to whatever the young girl yapped about. He could only stare at you; how beautiful you looked, so natural without makeup. He never understood and never questioned.   
  
You, him and Steve were the best of friends. It had always been the three musketeers, taking on New York and the world together. Growing up together in the streets all the way into adulthood, the three of you were like white on rice; no force in the universe could ever separate you three, not even death.  
  
Bucky had recognized your feelings for the frail blonde not too long ago. He began to notice how your smile with Steve was different than your smile with him. It made his chest constrict with a feeling foreign to him whenever he saw how wide you smiled at anyone, including Steve. Anyone but Bucky.

Bucky _knew_ it in his heart, how much better you would be on his arm rather than holding hands with Steve.   
  
He would give the world to have said yes to you the first time you told him you loved him; he didn't take you seriously because there was no way someone he loved like a sister could love him like that. He only ruffled your hair, just as he always did whenever you made him smile.  
  
The sentiment had given you a drastic change of heart, but that didn't mean you weren't friends anymore. You simply moved on, and 'til this day do you question if moving on was the right choice.   
  
You found someone who would never take you for granted, someone who could be there for you in your darkest days; you needed the sun, and Bucky's rejection had made him nothing but a flickering candle.   
  
He stared at you and Steve as the both of you held hands. You and the blonde were in your own world now, a similar shade of pink dusting both yours and Steve's cheeks. You both were shy souls and maybe that's why Bucky could only watch over you two now, as much as he wished you were with him. He knew you and Stevie were better together than him and you.  
  
Bucky was happy for his best friends, even if his heart was wanting to jump out of his chest and explode like a fucking grenade.  
  
That should have been him making you laugh, he thinks as you cover your mouth to suppress your giggling.  
  
That should have been him, holding your hand, he thinks as he sees Steve pull you closer by a slight tug of the arm.  
  
Only once in his life did he wish he was Steven Grant Rogers, and from tonight on will he forever wish over and over.  
  
Bucky would _kill_ to be Steve right now, the one who was making you blush as you bent down for him to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.   
  
" _Bucky_? Bucky, are you listening?" The brunette tugged at Bucky's sleeve, bringing him back to reality. He smiled at her in false tenderness but she doesn't notice. Of course she wouldn't; surface smile girls like her were shallow to Bucky.  
  
"Yes, sugar?" He forces a grin at her, flashing her his trademark side smile. She only giggles, continuing to rant about whatever she was talking about before. Bucky never disrespected a woman in his life, God forbid to raise a hand against a lady; but he tuned her out and paid no mind once again to her irrelevant chatter.   
  
His eyes focused on the scene unfolding before him, his stomach tightening in slight anticipation.  
  
Bucky tensed as he saw Steve's sudden change in body language. He knew the boy way too long to know when he was getting serious. Steve turned his head to the side for a second, breathing into his palm and taking a whiff. The sight made Bucky chuckle but also made him apprehensive; people only check their breathe when they're about to...  
  
Steve tapped you on your shoulder and when you turned to look at him- sweet lord, your smile could make a man blind. The way your eyes crinkled and your dimples reached all the way up your cheeks... It was a sight more beautiful than the sunniest of days and clearest of skies. At least that's how your joyful toothy grin made Bucky feel.    
  
Bucky holds his breathe as he sees your expression change. He can see the excitement in your eyes as you held your gaze with Steve, the intuition in his stomach urging him to block out the sight before him.   
  
Bucky couldn't look away. As much as he wanted to rip his eyeballs out and boil them like eggs, he had to watch.  
  
You leaned closer to Steve as he laid a gentle hand around your neck, pulling you down to meet his eyes.   
  
Have you ever heard glass shatter into a million of small pieces?   
  
Bucky never did until that very moment; his heart felt a small spasm, as if everything was going to crumble before his eyes.   
  
He had to blink at the sight before him, making sure it was real and not some nightmare.   
  
Steve's face drew away from yours slowly, searching your eyes for approval.   
  
You were too stunned to move at first, and Bucky momentarily wished it was your subtle way of rejecting him.   
  
His heart pounded in chest, wishing with all his might that you would in someway turn down Steve.   
  
Bucky had made the biggest mistake of his life turning you down; he knew he was going to reap what he sowed.   
  
You quickly registered the situation and pulled Steve in for another kiss, just as soft and tender as the first one.   
  
You held each other as the final fireworks went off, your hands holding on to each other like it was a lifeline.  
  
For that second, you felt a piece of your soul leave you.   
  
You instantly knew you were falling in deep for the short man in front of you, and you were perfectly happy with all of him. Steve was sweet, thoughtful, and he made it clear that if you were in it for the long run, he would take care of you with all of his being.   
  
If only Bucky realized sooner how much you meant to him, before he lost you to his best friend.   
  
\---  
  
When Bucky drank, he could forget the heartache. Even if it were only for a couple of hours, the burban and jack could let him numb the pain and forget what he had lost.   
  
However, tonight he wasn't going to forget; he wasn't going to let the pain slip away. He was going to face it head on, all while holding you in his arms.   
  
You were home to the winter soldier; you were his world and he was a complete idiot to have let you go the first time.   
  
He wasn't going to make the same mistake the second time around.   
  
You knew how much Bucky loved you, and it killed you. You already promised so much to Steve and even though Bucky came first, he wasn't the one you had given your heart.   
  
"Bucky, please let go." You sighed into his hair. "I love Stevie, Bucky." You lean back to look in his eyes.  
  
They're becoming glassy as he stares into your own, into your soul.   
  
You felt it all in that moment, how much Bucky truly cared for you and wanted to cherish you. It hit you like a tidal wave as blue as those beautiful orbs of his, you lost count over the years how many times they took your breath away.  
  
His hold on you loosened, giving you the chance to pull away.   
  
You stood up slowly from Bucky's lap, his face dazed. All he could do was watch your movements as you stepped away.   
  
"I love you, Bucky. I love you so, _so_ much." You feel yourself tear up. You knew he probably wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, so being honest won't hurt either of you.   
  
"But I can't. I am not yours and you are not mine. This is wrong." His grip on you loosens just enough to where you can pull away smoothly. You stand up, knees bent slightly. You kiss him on the forehead, stroking his locks.   
  
"I love you, Buck. You're very important to me, and I'd take a bullet for you, buddy. But Steve is my one and only, okay?" You gently push him back onto the couch, his aggressive drunkenness finally cooling down.   
  
He just stares at you like a lonely lost child, slightly dazed and eyelids growing heavy. His eyes finally close, his left hand resting on yours.   
  
You pull away gently as he falls into deep sleep, tiptoeing out of the living room and back to your room when a voice stops you.   
  
"You love Bucky?" His tone leaves a guilty lump in your throat. You turn towards him but before you even see him he opens your bedroom door and pushes you in, leading you to the bed by holding your waist.   
  
Steve lays you down roughly, both of your bodies bounce as he crawls on top of him. You stare up at him, your eyes beginning to hurt as you hold contact.

"Not like I used to. I swear, Stevie." You start crying, covering your face with your hands.   
  
He sighs, pulling you up and holding you close. His strong arms cradle your torso, gently shushing you. "I'm sorry, Stevie, I'm so sorry..."  
  
"It's fine, it's fine." He kisses you softly, using one of his hands to wipe away your tears.   
  
You open your eyes and look him in the eye. Lord, was he beautiful. Steve probably didn't know how many nights you've prayed, thanking God for blessing you with a man like him. Steve was truly an angel in your eyes; you had always loved him, but when Bucky had turned you down and you confined in Steve, that was the turning point in your life. There were no regrets with making Steve your Only One, not even after earlier would you change a thing between you and Bucky.

Steve was your life, and you hoped he knew that.

"I did love Bucky, and I still do but not in the same way." You repeat, trying to convince Steve that there's nothing more between you and his best friend.   
  
"I did, Stevie. I really did and, and... I just feel relieved because I told him the truth even if he was drunk." You sob, nuzzling your face into his neck. "I don't care about anyone else like I care about you, Steve. Honestly." You whimper, wrapping your arms around his neck.   
  
"I know, baby. I know." He chuckles softly, running his hands through your hair. "I love you Steve, you are the most important person in this world to me. I would never want anything better or less because I have you." You murmur, kissing his neck gently.   
  
Steve knew how much you loved him; he felt it ever since the Stark show back in the 1940's. But tonight, having listened in on you and Bucky - it took him all of his strength to not stomp in there and punch his best friend right in the jaw for laying hands on his girl - Steve had always loved you, even back when you loved Bucky he waited patiently for you o turn to him. And now, now that you've come to terms and let go of your feelings for Bucky, Steve felt more secure than ever.   
  
He never once doubted your devotion to him; your relationship was as strong as diamond. You both fought together, ate together, played together... You were his girl and he was just a boy from Brooklyn. It was all so simple which he loved, and the complexities of the modern day are what made everything worth working for. He would never in a million years think of giving up on you because you were all he ever wanted. If only he knew that what you felt was tenfold of how he felt about you; perhaps you both will spend the rest of your lives making each other know. You two were your own dream team, and there was no waking up.   
  
"Please sleep with me tonight," you suddenly pull him down to the bed so that now you both were laying down.   
  
He smiles next to you, holding you close. "I will always sleep with my only girl."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe if I can come back to this work, I'll write and alternative ending where the reader chooses Bucky?


End file.
